


Solo Una Vez Más (Alone again)

by Gilbird14



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Regret, Self-Reflection, Set after rdr2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:00:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26323054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gilbird14/pseuds/Gilbird14
Summary: Javier reflects on his choices and actions after the gang disbanded.
Kudos: 10





	Solo Una Vez Más (Alone again)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my piece the incredible [Bury Me Not Fanzine ](https://twitter.com/thereddeadzine?lang=es). Everyone involved in it is amazing, so you should totally check them out! It's been a honor and a pleasure being part of this project <3
> 
> I always wanted to write a more introspective story and I found the perfect opportunity with Javier.
> 
> I hope you like it!

It had been a long time since he had felt like this: the excruciating burning pain that ran through his body and that it could not be attributed to any injury, but to something far worse; the continuous fight to fill his lungs with air due to the asphyxiation his sorrow produced; the incomparable suffering of losing the people he cared about the most…

Javier had lost his family once in Mexico many years ago. He never thought he would lose them again.

The gang hadn't been his blood, but they had been his family. He had been loyal to them. He had been loyal to Dutch, since the moment they first met. Javier had been trying to steal a couple of chickens to ease his hungry belly when Dutch caught him. The man was doing exactly the same as him, but, instead of killing him like Javier expected, Dutch laughed and offered him a place in his gang. The sound of that genuine laughter was now forgotten. Javier had believed in Dutch blindly. Javier had believed in his goddamned plan. And for what? For nothing.  _ Nada _ . He was back at the beginning like when he had come to America the first time: no family, the gang was no more; no friends, he and Bill parted ways after they fled the camp; and no horse, Boaz was traceable so he had sold him. Did his loyal steed feel as betrayed as he was by Dutch? Javier’s heart was broken into a million pieces. All he had respected and believed in had turned out to be a fraud. Where were his precious ideals?

\--♣--

Javier had nothing left in this forsaken country.

Hosea, the man who taught him to fish and was like a father to him? Dead.

Arthur, the brother he betrayed? Dead too.

There hadn't been a day where he didn't regret it.

In the end, he hadn't aimed his gun at him or at John, he couldn't do it, but he had remained on Dutch's side... He chose wrong and his brother had paid the ultimate price for it. Javier was alone again, completely and utterly  _ solo _ , but this time he kind of deserved it. His guitar was his only companion, besides the occasional fire to keep him warm.

The friendly happy faces that had once surrounded the campfire had been replaced by haunting shadows. Those warm starry nights filled with laughter and joy by the fire felt like they happened a lifetime ago. Now, the nights were freezing like he was hiding in Colter again and the stars didn’t seem to shine as bright. If only he could turn back time... A single tear ran down Javier's cheek as his fingers stroke his guitar chords and he began to sing a lively melody, his broken heart for only the ghosts to see.

  
  


_ Ay, ay, ay, ay _

_ Canta y no llores _

_ Porque cantando se alegran _

_ Cielito lindo, los corazones. _


End file.
